Love is frequently regarded as a meaningful essence of life, and when you’re in love, nothing else appears to be more important in life than love, or so it seems.
Meanwhile, science says its just an explosion of chemical energy that causes attraction and attachment. In general, love does not only refer to a romantic relationship between a male and a female, but it can also be seen in friendships and other contexts. But when we talk about falling in love, we’re talking about so much more than just attraction and attachment.
But ever wondered about the meaning of true love? Want to know if unconditional love exists? Sadhguru shares his insights on a topic that is timeless, yet vitally relevant right now in this week’s Thursdays With Sadhguru!
Falling in Love
Sadhguru: The English expression, “Falling in love,” is significant because no one rises in love or climbs in love. You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go. If not the whole of you, at least a part of you should collapse. Only then there is a love affair.
You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. It essentially means someone else has become far more important than yourself. Unfortunately, what most people call “love” is just a mutual benefit scheme.
You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go.
One day, Shankaran Pillai went to a park. There was a pretty woman sitting on a stone bench there. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved a little closer to her. She moved away. Again, he waited for a few minutes and inched a little closer to her. She moved away.
He waited again, and then inched even closer. By then she had moved to the very end of the bench. He reached out and put his hand on her. She shrugged him off. He sat there for a while, then went down on his knees, plucked a flower, gave it to her and said, “I love you. I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life.”
She melted. Nature took over and they had their way with each other. It was getting late in the evening; Shankaran Pillai got up and he said, “I need to leave. It’s eight o’clock. My wife will be waiting.”
She said, “What? You’re leaving? You just said you loved me!”
“Yes, but it’s time. I need to go.”
Generally, we have made relationships within frameworks that are comfortable and profitable to us. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social needs. One of the best ways to fulfil these needs is to tell people, “I love you.” This so-called “love” has become like a mantra: open sesame. You try to get what you want by saying it.
Every action that we do is in some way to fulfil certain needs. If you see this, there is a possibility that you can develop love as something that comes naturally. But people go on fooling themselves into believing that the relationships they have made for convenience, comfort and wellbeing, are actually love relationships.
I am not saying there is no experience of love at all in those relationships, but it is within certain limitations. It does not matter how much “I love you” has been said, if a few expectations and requisites are not fulfilled, things will fall apart.
The subject on the complexities of love is to be continued in next week’s Thursdays With Sadhguru…
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