Warning: This is going to be a pretty long article. 

I am going to start this conversation with you through this article. Remember, no matter what the end of this article is, I want you, my readers, to know that spiritualism is a journey and we are all at different stages in life. Don’t be harsh and unkind to yourself. Accept whatever that happens to you and see how life unravels itself. 

As cliche as this sounds, I can now daringly say that, I have had the luxury to have experienced a handful number of honest conversations. Firstly, I want to clarify and say that not every conversation i have with other people is 100% honest. But just maybe sometimes, if I am lucky, I get to have an honest conversation with other people. Now, let’s go back to the perks of an honest conversation. 

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Credit: Marts Brzosko
  1. Your time

If there is one thing I could ever hate more than an unkind person is the failure of time management. Yes, I hate wasting time. With an honest conversation, you save so much time. If you are out on a date, and both of you decide to be honest right from the get go, then I don’t see why anyone would intentionally waste anyone’s time. Both of you have one honest conversation and so much of doubt is cleared. You then decide what’s best for yourself and move on to the next thing in life. Here is a personal belief, I do give myself a fixed amount of time to work on anything in life. If I am upset about a friendship break up, I give myself some time to accept and understand whatever that happened. But after that time is over, I make sure I am over it and I move on to my next focus. The sooner you get to it, the sooner you are opening yourself to other adventures in life. 

2. Your energy

I cannot stress how important it is to protect your energy. I believe that your energy can really alter your life experiences. Post honest conversation would leave you feeling a little disrupted in your energy. That is normal. Remember, an honest conversation could be super painful to be part of. It has that kind of pain that makes you question many of your own personal beliefs too. So for a little while, you may feel off, but remember, after a while, with realisations and acceptance, your energy will come back to you. But an honest conversation is good for your energy. With realignment, you will come back stronger. That would make you a better individual and needless to say how that affects us as a community. 

3. Most importantly, your peace 

This is my favourite one. Your mental space is so fragile. In this world of social media, it is needless to say how that could affect us negatively. We are basing some of the fundamental beliefs in our life with the stuff we see on social media. So whether for good or for bad, this is a very sensitive space and you need to protect it. We work so hard on ourselves to make sure you keep yourself happy and content. 

Every dishonest conversation you have, you chip off a little more from your mental space. 

Now, time for a truth bomb. 

YOU DON”T HAVE TO HAVE AN HONEST CONVERSATION WITH EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE 

WHATT!!! I know right. Like I said earlier, an honest conversation is very painful. If you do this every time, you will just be exhausted with life. Too much of anything will kill you! Same concept here. If you have a difficult person in your life, I would totally understand if you do not want to have an honest conversation with them. It would be pointless to speak to people who are very defensive. Trust me, I have been a defensive person before, and I wasted so much time in a friendship that was never going to go anywhere. But yeah, I was defensive and I wasted my time and energy, luckily not my peace. 

So pick your battles. Have an honest conversation with someone who is also on the same wavelength as you. It would be uncomfortable but it would be an important one. Have an honest conversation with someone who would appreciate the truth. 

I know, you probably now have this question for me, 

“ Tiviya, are you saying that I should lie to them?” 

Yes. Hear me out. Only people who are honest would deserve honesty out of you. So give it to someone worthy of that. Don’t give any handouts, trust me, it won’t do you well. There are times where I would lie by saying, there is no problem at all. This is my most common one. When I say this, I really know that I am not going to waste my time with people who lie to me. 

“Tiviya, aren’t you being a hypocrite?” 

It depends on the lens you chose to view. I know that too much of one thing will kill me. But for some people, they only believe in 100% truth. For me, that would be so suffocating. I have to tell a lie in order to protect myself. 

Be brutally honest with the people you love. Be honest with the people around you. Trust me, there is a difference. I practice that and can only hope that the people around me believe in this too. 

I urge you to start having more important, uncomfortable and HONEST conversations with your loved ones. The pandemic has shown the world how important it is to care for yourself and the ones around you.