Featured Image credit: Afri Love
Starting the journey of discovering self-love is an overwhelming yet rewarding journey. In this generation we live in, instant gratification is like our addiction. People aren’t really interested in a delayed gratification because it requires work. In this article, I hope to convince you to start your journey by providing certain tips that worked for me. If you relate them, then that’s great. But if you have your own ways, just keep going.
When we talk about self-love, we get so frazzled with our thoughts. I used to ask this; how do I start? I would often wonder what is my step one. Thankfully, I understood this at a young age.
For me, the first act of self-love is understanding my self-respect. I knew that it mattered more than being liked by people, and sometimes you sacrifice a relationship because you know, if you cannot respect yourself, then you are not respecting the novelty of the word and also, the other kinds of respect that you have with different people, experiences, etc.
Our society, which includes me, occasionally makes silly mistakes to focus on building a life on the narrative of
“What will people think?”
I know. This is more common than you think it is. All of us, at some point in time, took different decisions in life because we get too carried away with our self-esteem issues. We make choices to be liked, even when at times, you ask yourself,
“Is this really what I want for myself?”
“How does this phase of my life make me feel?”
Needless to say that, our lives have been hugely affected with the use of social media. Many amazing things have happened on social media and I only continue to hope that many more beautiful and impactful things will happen. However, social media could be very damaging for us subconsciously if we do not pay attention to what we consume. This subconscious space has a huge impact in the way you view your reality.
This is just a gentle reminder to use it with kindness, empathy and love. Remember, whenever we do anything from a place of genuinity, it is always going to be a huge tick on your win column; even if you don’t understand the reward at that moment.
In no way, I am shaming anyone or myself for the choices we have all made. It has all brought us here. But, I am writing to you to wake up and question what you have been doing? Ask and check with yourself.
“Am I studying this to seek validation from my parents?”
“Am I staying in this relationship because it “looks” right?”
“Am I staying in a boring high paying job to pay for a lifestyle that is validated by social media?”
“Am I talking to someone out of sheer obligation and not love?”
Ask yourself the difficult and hard questions and you will thank yourself when you realise all you need is to respect yourself a little more by being honest to yourself. We are all different and we are allowed our own choices.
Self-love has no final destination because it is about the journey of exploring yourself, and it doesn’t stop until your last breath.
For me, exploring self-love also meant to explore the breathing techniques and meditation. This was my way of also connecting with my roots. Breath, a powerful yet an underrated technique that we all seem to never have time for. On average, a human breathes 8 to 12 silent breaths in a minute. It’s more if you are feeling stressed and anxious.
Slow down, and you will see life a little more differently. Take a step back, every now and then to just cherish how far you have come. This version of you was some of your dream from a long time ago. Celebrate your small wins without giving it too much thought.
If there is one thing from this that I really want you, my readers, to understand is that the harder you try to make everyone around you more happy; the more closer you get to burning out.