The most gratifying part of acquiring knowledge is when you know you can apply the lessons in multiple aspects of your life. Learning about myself helped me understand the relationships I have in my life and what I should look out for. As an over thinker, seeing red flags is the easiest. Even then, some of them were invalid because it is proven by science that our brain tricks us sometimes. Learning to acknowledge the green flags in new relationships was a great way for me to slow down and really grasp what is actually happening as opposed to simply depriving meaning from nothing.
What is a Green Flag?
The word “green flag” is used to describe activities or characteristics that are positive. These are typically characteristics of healthy actions, which might be a good indication that your possible relationship will begin positively and hopefully continue to do so.
Every relationship appears to be unique. Some people require constant communication, while others are content with intermittent connection. Finally, a healthy relationship is one in which both you and the other person feel that things are on an equal footing and that both of your needs are met.
These two green flags could work for relationships in your life, not just the potential romantic ones. There are signals that say ‘go, go, go’ just like there are enormous stop signs to watch out for when you’re conversing with someone new.Knowing what they are and keeping an eye out for them when they appear is the key.
Here are two of my personal favourites;
A Clear Communicator
The capacity to talk clearly without any fear of retribution in a relationship may be the most positive sign you can uncover. Literally, the greenest flag you will ever see! 😂
This can be as easy as having a partner that is willing to disclose their true sentiments with you about any subject, no matter how insignificant. A friend who would openly disagree without having second thoughts of potentially “losing” their friendship.
Many of us have encountered folks who expect others to put on their detective hats and figure out how they’re feeling based on nonverbal cues, written messages’ tone, or the dreaded silent treatment. That kind of conduct is a red flag, but having someone respectfully tell you what worries them is a positive indicator.
You shouldn’t be concerned that every time you have a disagreement, your relationship will end. If the other person punishes you in any way after a fight, whether it’s extended periods of tight silence, pretending you don’t exist when they’re in the same room with you, or more directly threatening conduct, it’s a NEGATIVE sign.
Issues will inevitably develop, which is why it’s crucial that the person on the other side of this relationship is honest with you and prepared to adjust, resolve, and accept any differences.
Part of communicating is listening. And you will know it if they are not LISTENING!
It’s a good sign if your friend respects you and is paying attention if you see them recalling passing things you’ve said, especially when it comes to the things you appreciate. After-all, we want to be seen and heard. If you have trouble remembering minor things, try making a note on your phone whenever your partner casually says something they enjoy, whether it’s a cuisine, dessert, candy, flower, perfume, or how they prefer their coffee.
You will also notice when a person remembers the smallest things about you, there is a high chance they would take your recommendation seriously. When someone you respect, whoever that person may be, checks out a recommendation you make, whether it’s for a movie, book, TV show, music, or whatever else, it feels great.
Some of my friends have described dates with people who would lie about seeing or reading the things they advised was to “simply to shut them up,”. It was clear that it made them feel bad. If someone takes your advice seriously, it tells a lot about how much they appreciate your intelligence and perspectives. It has the potential to deliver a strong message.
Taking effort only pays when you do it from a place of Genuinity.
Well, you might ask,
Tiviya how do you know if someone has a genuine interest in you?
As I continue to heal from the previous wounded relationships in my life, one huge lesson I have learnt is to not view experiences in a zero or hundred mindset. Yes this makes it ‘harder’ to ‘know’ if this person has genuine interest as it is always easy for the mind to want to be ‘right’. So there are a couple of ways to see this. For me, the first sign is an organic interest in my hobbies.
A fantastic spouse/friend doesn’t have to share your interests.In fact, it may be preferable if they don’t, however it’s a good sign if they show interest in what you do. When you’re with a decent relationship, they won’t dismiss your pastime, no matter how strange it is, or make you feel self-conscious about participating in it. According to Psychology Today, having a partner who can introduce you to things that are unfamiliar to you is a terrific method for a relationship to encourage personal growth.
The following only applies for a potential romantic partner.
NON SEXUAL COMPLIMENTS
Compliments from your partner are usually lovely to hear, but hearing solely pleasant comments about your appearance can seem a little hollow. It’s certainly a fantastic thing if your person expresses their physical attraction to you by telling you so, but if they commend you for other reasons, it’s a great display of respect. Positive feedback from your partner, whether it’s about your personality, judgement, taste, a skill you have, or something they know you’re insecure about, is a good sign.
There are SO MANY other green flags that you can look out for that aren’t listed here.
Being open to seeing this is probably the key take away from this article. According to this article, it says that,
“To be able to authentically see and feel someone’s good will towards you, you have to be open to the possibilities of getting your emotional needs met with a good person in your corner.”
A good friend told me this, we recognise red flags in new relationships, and if we have the correct mindset, we can recognise green flags coming our way as well. It’s never about the people we meet. It’s all about how we think and feel about ourselves, and what we believe we deserve.
Let me know what are your green flags ✅