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Home Featured

This is why I prefer to pay attention than get attention

CW: This article is a reflection of the author’s personal point of view

by Tiviya Linges
November 28, 2021
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https://medium.com/personal-growth/6-habits-of-highly-focused-people-523f86317f2d
PC: Medium.com

Attention. This word was definitely a trigger for me and it could be for you too. Rest assured, you will see the word pop up another million times in this article. Now, I think I may have gotten your ATTENTION 😂
We rarely speak about attention being a trigger because,

WE RARELY PAY ATTENTION TO “ATTENTION”


Simply means, as humans we love getting attention. I mean why not, it is truly a powerful and moving feeling. We feel good about ourselves, which boosts our confidence and is unquestionably an important part of life. I have an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and I was recently diagnosed. This simply means that I have quite a complicated relationship with ATTENTION.

It was the opposite of what the title of this article said; but that was my reality. It was extremely difficult to pay attention. But don’t worry, it’s manageable, and my breakthrough moment came when I gradually convinced my mind that there is an abundance of attention and that I can have it whenever I want it. This assisted me in changing my behaviours in order to bring out traits that are beneficial to paying attention in general.

https://gifer.com/en/7Shn
PC: gifer A classic ADHD trait of wanting break time; aka PROCRASTINATING!

Don’t misunderstand me. I enjoy the advantages of attracting attention. The only way I can get the most out of this mindset is to see it in shades of grey rather than black and white. To know when to get or pay your attention, you must have a certain level of self-awareness and self-reliance. Consider this article. Thank you for taking the time to read this far. I am grateful for your readership because it inspires me to go out and experience new things and share them with you here!

I found out about this through this life changing TED Talk by Joesph Gorden Lewitt. He is a talented actor but most importantly an aware human being. If you want to know more about it, watch the talk and let it unravel in your mind. 

YouTube video

While you are here, let me tell you how my life changed in SMALL ways; 


My mind got sharper; I kid you not! 

I started slow and easy. I started with conversations. I paid attention to the subjects being discussed, the intensity, depth and differing point of views. I found myself understanding the subject from a non biased emotional state. This means, the defence and the guard is down. You are in the process of learning something. Ego usually follows us when trying to form a belief; not when you are attentively listening to another person. Taking turns was so helpful.

PC: Giphy.com It was almost like my brain had a pair of eyes; AWAKENED!


Of course, I would have something to say in every chat, but developing the self-control to listen and not talk was one of the most difficult things I had to do for my peace and growth. My mind jumped to the next level of self awareness as I paid attention to details. I was able to notice more details and was no longer as oblivious as before.


When you pay attention, it removes the pressure on oneself and it deflects to the actual subject. It gives a conversation and actual chance it truly ever deserves.

But we are humans and it isn’t as easy as we think it is. It requires effort. This sharpness started to show in different aspects of my life. I am able to take more time to slow down and understand the process a lot better.


The Creative bubble popped!

When I began paying attention consciously, there was a surge of creativity. With a more positive attitude, I experienced mindset shifts. It is also the reason I was able to overcome a personal fear. As a writer, creativity blocks are my worst nightmare. I’m always concerned that I won’t be able to come up with a topic to write about. That worry is still there in the back of my mind, but it no longer has power over me. I am confident that every time I pay attention, I am filling my mind with knowledge, which is a great source of inspiration for my creativity.

https://giphy.com/explore/creativity
PC: Giphy.com A whole new world!



I also noticed that I am able to explore different styles of writing; because I know that exploration is going to be a reward. That has enabled me to also read different types of books.
See how that connects? Convinced? 

Let me leave you with this thought. Getting attention is critical to one’s self-esteem and confidence. Each of us has our own journey that will take us down different paths in life. Some of us prefer to be the centre of attention rather than the centre of attention, while others prefer to be the centre of attention. Both points of view are valid. The only thing that matters is your journey to discover why you do things the way you do them and how you can improve them. I discovered that paying attention, in the end, delayed my gratification, which opened up many doors to my identity and being. It has now become a part of me, and I hope it will remain so.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook or Telegram for more updates and breaking news. 

Filed Under ‘Colour Your Life’adhdconversationsdelayed gratificationmental disciplinemental healthpatience
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